if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I need moral support for this bender
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
