yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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