Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
