I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
