It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
