Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
