I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
