she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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