Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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