I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
