3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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