I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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