Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
