I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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