you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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