im six kinds of drunk right now
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
