For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
