I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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