thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It's blow job season.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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