She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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