I cannot find my penis.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
