Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
