I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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