I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
