Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
