what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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