Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
