i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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