I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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