I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
