Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
