ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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