I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
