So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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