just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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