Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
