I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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