Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
