her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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