Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
