dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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