What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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