Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
