please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
