We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
