i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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