he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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