So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
