she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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