Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
